January 2010
3 posts
Back in the day, some fuckwads decided to light up a fair amount of flash powder in a rocket. The building shook, the windows rattled, and BU called to see if we were OK. FmyEClife.
Back in the day, we decided it might be a good idea to make a flaming tennis ball launcher. After connecting several steel cans together, and filling it with lighter fluid, we ended up making a scorched slag mark on the tennis courts. Then the old people made fun of us. FmyEClife.
Ultrabusted
Back in the day, I tried to score a field goal with the ultrabuster. I figure people should hear the truth so here it goes. During hall rush I walked onto 5th East. I was heading toward the lounge area which was at the end of the hallway. The hallway was empty with the exception of this cylinder looking thing. The room was dim but from afar it looked like a foam athletic roller I regularly...
July 2009
44 posts
desk loves to lose keys
back in the day I was returning to EC from a two week trip to Vietnam. With weather delays and Logan sucking ass, I had spent nearly 40 hours traveling from Ho Chi Minh City to EC. Having locked my key in my room, I solicited EC desk for the lockout key. The key was not to be found, even though it was signed for by the deskworker on duty two weeks previously. I had to wait over an hour for...
Back in the day, I was applying for US citizenship. I went home for the summer and set up mail forwarding at EC Desk. The US Citizenship and Immigration Service sent me a notice for the final interview to EC Desk, which proceeded to put the notice in a mail bin and store it for over a month. The document was finally forwarded to my house and reached me the day after the interview was scheduled....
Back in the day, my friend’s laundry got locked inside a malfunctioning EC washer. I decided to help rescue the laundry with my trusty crowbar. I forgot that I had left a pot of rice cooking on the stove, and upon returning from the basement (after experiencing great success in liberating the laundry), I was greeted by the denizens of the East Parallel, all of whom had been evacuated because...
back in the day, when the laundry room was still gross and full of smelly puddles, I was transferring my clothes from washer to dryer. I needed to get back to studying so I was hurrying. I dropped all my freshly laundered clothes in the nasty fucking puddle and had to rewash all of them. fmyeclife.
unsuspecting consistency
one evening I was walking back to EC to see a large group of people standing between 66 and goodale. Just as I caught glimpse of the refrigerator in the fire escape, a CP car pulled up into the driveway and the entire crowd scattered, leaving me there. The CPs accused me of being in charge of a plot to blow up the building, detained me for an hour, didn’t give me a phone call, and finally...
this one time, a guy took a shower in my favorite single-occupancy bathroom. he was in there an hour. with no soap. fmyeclife.
Back in the day, this one time, I got hit by a dumb biker while crossing Mass Ave, while wearing just body paint and a speedo. FmyEClife.
Back in the day, someone walked in on me having sex. I checked later, and my door had in fact been locked. To this day, I get accused of trying to have threesomes all the time. FmyEClife.
So back in the day, the walls were so thin that I could hear my neighbors peeing in the sink. They weren’t male. FmyEClife.
So back in the day, I collected some glassware off Reuse, for general purpose type stuff. The next day, I received an email from the MIT Police force, Special Investigations unit. They pointed out my dorm, and quite simply asked “Do you have a drug lab in your room, son?”. FmyEClife.
Express Shipping
back in the day, you could tell someone they’re an ignorant cockslut over the internet and he might shut the fuck up. Now the other guy just insists that you call him an ignorant cockslut in front of his friends to prove what a big man he is. fmyEClife.
Back in the day, fifth east’s freezer stopped working. We didn’t notice for three days because it was the summer and no one was around. We duct taped it shut with the expectation that its removal would be expedited. It wasn’t. Over the course of two weeks, everything inside congealed into an orange goo. We finally decided move it to the Bemis stairwell using a handtruck and a...
back in the day, Dheera lived on third east. fmyEClife.
back in the day, the media lab left a bunch of pressurized liquid nitrogen containers on the loading dock. every ten minutes for a week, they discharged really loudly. i could barely sleep. fmyEClife.
back in the day we had all these cool electronics available for people on hall to use for classes and projects. they eventually almost all disappeared in a summer, not because they were stolen, but because the cleaning staff threw them out. they were worth thousands of dollars. fmyEClife.
back in the day, we had a party, and someone scheduled over us. so not as many people showed as we hoped, but it was enough to get burlap threads everywhere in the hall. we had to clean it up ourselves while hungover the next morning or be fined. fmyEClife.
back in the day, i hid in my girlfriend’s room and planned to jump out and surprise her. unbeknownst to me, she had told a friend from harvard she could stay there for the night. i heard someone come in, jumped out, and yelled. the girl screamed so loud that within ten seconds, ten of my hallmates were at the door, one of them a black belt wielding a kitchen knife. fmyEClife.
back in the day, i was demonstrating fire tricks in front of a crowd to seem cool. i accidentally lit all my hair on fire and proceeded to flail about like a little sissy. fmyEClife.
back in the day, i designed and built a high-budget rush project. it was a monumental failure. fmyEClife.
Back in the day, I spent most of this one night studying for a course 9 statistics exam that I knew was bound to rape me the next morning at 10. I finally went to bed around 4 in the morning knowing I was going to need every little bit of sleep possible, only to be woke up around 7:30 by a fire alarm that was apparently pulled about 20 feet from my room, right next to a stairwell that convinced me...
back in the day, I was hooking up with this dude on the futon next to my radiator. it was the middle of the winter and my radiator was, as usual, way too hot. I burned my boob on the radiator. fmyEClife.
back in the day, the radiator in my room used to start clanking and clunking during the middle of the night. It was very reliable - every night it’d clunk. When the radiator steam finally was shut off for summer, the early morning jackhammering started up right outside my window. fmyEClife
back in the day, I was trying to find a bathroom to crap in during a water shutdown. I went to every bathroom on my hall. they were all already full of unflushed poop. fmyEClife.
yesterday, they were due to install new mailboxes at desk in place of the old but functional units. The new locks didn’t work. Desk hasn’t been able to distribute mail for more than a week. fmyEClife.
back in the day, an 8 foot long paper mache penis was found inserted through our kitchen window from the outside, accompanied with non-water soluble imitation cum all over the floor. it took days to clean. fmyEClife.
back in the day, there was horse porn playing on a lounge projector and a set of stocks set up for a party. it was dark. many people were surrounding this one girl tied up in the stocks. i got closer to see what was going on, and heard wet squishy sounds. the girl was getting fingered by multiple residents. she was my TA. fmyEClife.
back in the day, there were only two good showers on hall. both of them were occupied by particularly loud couples. i went to shower in a shittier shower. it flooded the entire bathroom. fmyEClife.
back in the day, I couldn’t sleep one night in my room because there were mice crawling around making noise and wouldn’t leave. I went out to the lunch and tried to sleep on the couch. I realized then that I my friend was staying in one of the rooms for the weekend on a fold out couch I loaned him, and he had just left. So I went in there to sleep. A few minutes later, the boyfriend of...
back in the day, I fell asleep at 6am after tooling all night. at 7am, I woke up to hear a mouse running around my room. I was too tired to move, so I stared at it for five minutes, praying it wouldn’t figure out a way to get up on my bed while I was sleeping. fmyEClife.
back in the day, i built a sweet roller coaster. when i showed it off to the housemaster, the cart derailed and broke into little pieces. fmyEClife.
back in the day, this guy wouldn’t stop complaining about the hot water. the nerve of that guy! i tell ya, he’s gonna get beat up some day!! fmyEClife.
back in the day, I had several realistic mouse-shaped cat toys for my cat. one day he brought one of them into my room. I assumed he wanted to play, so I reached for the toy in his mouth. when he let it go, it scampered across the room. It wasn’t a toy after all. fmyEClife
back in the day, I fell off my loft and hit my head in the fall, so I went to medical since I thought I might have a concussion. It took forever for Medical to actually examine me because they wouldn’t stop asking me if my boyfriend was abusing me. fmyEClife.
back in the day, a friend rescued a ceramic duck from the river bank. we named him ‘matlab’. then he was kidnapped and probably brutally murdered by the cleaning staff. fmyEClife.
back in the day, I was fooling around and the guy I was with suddenly said “I taste blood.” We turned on the lights. There was blood everywhere. I had gotten a terrible nosebleed and not even realized it. fmyEClife.
back in the day, my friend’s cat had taken to peeing on my bed. one day he started peeing, and my boyfriend grabbed him and tossed him off the bed. in the process a stream of urine hit me in the eye. fmyEClife.
back in the day, we were having a closed room party so keep boozes out of sight. then the door sponteneously broke off the hinges in the room. and then we couldn’t really keep it a closed room shindig anymore. the next morning we woke up to find that the occupant got called in and was going to be evicted thanks to someone down the hall who didn’t say anything to us about it. fmyEClife.
back in the day, i got fisted on an EC couch during a party. i was still a virgin. fmyEClife.”
back in the day, i thought this one freshman we had was pretty cool. then she started working desk. fmyEClife
back in the day, my hallmates had a huge apple printer we needed to get rid of. so we decided to toss it out the window. we sent someone downstairs for ground crew. he said it was all clear. it wasn’t. we broke a tree in half. fmyEClife.
back in the day, two of my hallmates had very loud sex very frequently. several of us were listening and giggling outside their door one day. They must have overheard us, because the guy came outside naked and half-erect. everyone else fled quickly. I wasn’t fast enough. fmyEClife.
back in the day, my hall had some bags of concrete it needed to get rid of. we dragged them over to the other parallel. they got rid of them by throwing them down a trash chute. they exploded with dust and set off the building’s fire alarms. fmyEClife.
back in the day, I was at an EC party. I walked into a lounge and discovered the most obnoxious guy I knew eating yogurt off my good friend’s freshman girlfriend. I’m scarred for life. fmyEClife.
back in the day, I built a sweet rush project. it left several of my friends with scars. fmyEClife.